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If both spouses agree that the marriage is to end and come to a mutually satisfying agreement regarding the final divorce settlement, you have an uncontested divorce.
In spite of what you hear from some, divorce isn’t always highly conflicted and anger filled.
It isn’t always about fighting it out
If both spouses agree that the marriage is to end and come to a mutually satisfying agreement regarding the final divorce settlement, you have an uncontested divorce.
In spite of what you hear from some, divorce isn’t always highly conflicted and anger filled.
It isn’t always about fighting it out in front of a judge or, using the children as pawns to punish each other. There are couples who can work civilly together when this happens you have an “uncontested divorce.
Uncontested divorce is the way most people divorce. It’s simple and inexpensive, and it offers you and your spouse the chance to end your marriage quietly and with dignity. It’s not right for everybody, but it’s right for many more couples than gladiators like to admit. The most apparent advantage of uncontested divorce, of course, is its cost.
I’m a big believer in finding the least expensive way to divorce or Seperate . The simple fact is that any money you can avoid spending on people like me is money you can use to live on after divorce or seperation and also spend on your kids.
Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process whereby a neutral third person called a mediator acts to encourage and facilitate the resolution of a dispute between two or more parties. The role of the mediator includes, but is not limited to, assisting the parties in identifying issues, fostering joint problem solving, and exploring settlement alternatives. In Mediation, decision-making authority rests with the parties.
Mediation is an informal and non-adversarial process, with the objective of helping the disputing parties reach a mutually acceptable and voluntary agreement. The strength of mediation lies in its practical approach to the issues at hand.
In Florida, all litigated cases will be referred for mediation prior to a court date. Mediation has a success rate of up to 90%, which means most cases will not be heard in court.
Mediation gives all participants the opportunity to speak and be heard. We help you to identify the issues that need to be resolved, to generate and consider possible solution options, to reach a mutually agreeable solution and put the agreement into a written form in understandable language. There does not need to be a "winner" and a "loser" in a divorce as long as it is kept from becoming a legal battle.
Mediation is not like going to court. You are in a relaxed atmosphere where the necessary issues that must be addressed regarding your divorce will be discussed in a respectful and adult manner.
While it is not always necessary to retain the services of an attorney, mediation is not intended to be a substitute for legal counsel. The mediator may not give legal advice and each party is encouraged to consult with an attorney if they have any legal questions or concerns.
A Mediator WILL NOT:
Mediation can be used in any type of conflict or litigation:
Dissolution of Marriage
Modification of a Final Judgment concerning: Child Support, Time Sharing (Visitation), Primary Residence of a Child (where the child spends the majority of their time), or Spousal Support and/or Alimony.
So, you have scheduled your first mediation session and from what I hear from my clients, I am sure you must be nervous. How will it go? How will the other party behave? What will they say or do? How to prepare and what to expect?
Well, first of all, breath. You have made a very good choice for your kids, as well as for yourself. You have
So, you have scheduled your first mediation session and from what I hear from my clients, I am sure you must be nervous. How will it go? How will the other party behave? What will they say or do? How to prepare and what to expect?
Well, first of all, breath. You have made a very good choice for your kids, as well as for yourself. You have made a financially sensibly, and family friendly choice. I command it. Now, let's prepare, to make sure that you are doing everything possible on your end, to assist the process and contribute to its success. Here are some practical tips for preparing to your first mediation session:
1. Come with Organized Financial Documents:
This should include the following: a list of all the assets you have: bank account, mutual funds, brokerage accounts, retirement funds, real estate, vehicles, time shares, businesses, important household contents, annuities, stock, equity in companies, pending law suits. You need to have balances of all bank accounts and retirement funds. For your debts, you will need the balance and monthly payment on your mortgage and home equity loan, all credit cards balances, all loan balances including student loans, private loans, loans against retirement funds and car loans. If you have any loans within the circle of your family members or friends (you borrowed or lent money to someone, including parents, siblings, friends etc.) make sure that you have concrete information on that as well. You may or may not need to bring original documents (please check with your mediator about that), but make sure that you are super organized. Typically, a spreadsheet or an organized list will do wonders in sparing both of you time and money in mediation. You can work on the list together or separately, depending on your relationship. Both options are fine. You will need to complete a financial depending on your income.
Short Form Financial under 50,000 a year
Long Form Finacial over 50,000 a year
Sample Parenting plan to give you ideas
PS. If you don't have all the Different assets or liabilites listed above than you don't have to worry about bringing the information. But you will each need to complete one of the forms above .
2. Get Your Emotions Under Control:
Mediation is, for the most part, a negotiation process, and heated emotions, as understandable as they are, will not allow you to have the clear head you need. This is not the time for hurtful words or getting at the other party, and it is not good for the process or for any of you. Find a great therapist, which will be so much more productive in handling this process in the best possible way. Join a support group. Be kind to yourself. Get support from your family and friends. But come to mediation as composed as you can be. It will work for you, believe me.
3. Be Prepared to Negotiate, Not to Argue:
The past is the past. It cannot be changed. This, however, is a forward looking, proactive process. You will find this refreshing, and very helpful. Arguing is something that you have done before, and it does not work. Negotiating, however, works and works well. So the first question to ask yourself is: What do I want? Think about that. Then, together with your mediator, you can think about how to accomplish what you are looking for, within reason and within the scope of what is possible.
4. You Can Ask to Talk to Your Mediator Alone:
If you have specific concerns, go ahead and express them. You can ask for a few minutes individually with your mediator every now and then is is called caucusing , and none of what you discuss with the mediator will be transferred or reported to the other party. A few minutes of private discussion with your mediator every now and then, can help the process tremendously. Your mediator will spend similar time with the other party. Be respectful and stay away. Session will then resume with both of you, it is a normal part of mediation.
5. Plan a Budget:
It will be easier to negotiate if you know how much money you need (monthly or as a lump some) in order to achieve what you are looking for, or how much you can afford to pay. Be realistic. Base your budget on fair and concrete expenses, and bring it to mediation with you. Your budget form should include housing and household expenses, car expenses, kids activities and expenses, health insurance, co pays, deductibles, and miscellaneous (detailed and specified) expenses.
6. Learn Your Rights and Obligations:
Get a Consultation from a Attorney . Go to more than one consultation with an attorney before you go to mediation . Gather information. Read articles. Do not go into the process of divorce before you know the terms, the meanings, the implications. Educate yourself. Read books. Many Attorney's offer free consultations. Go to a few, together or separately, and ask a lot of questions. It will give you a clearer picture of what your options are, and what each option means for you.
7. Put Your Concerns on the Table (or in Writing):
Your concerns are important to the process. Put them on the table so that they can be discussed. Some people are concerned about travel with the kids, some have a family member they are concerned about, others are concerned about not being notified before the kids when a significant other is introduced to them. Everything is relevant, and should be brought up. Use this proactive process to assist you in setting the grounds for productive co-parenting and peace of mind.
Good luck!
ready
Court records
Current final judgment or paternity judgment Existing parenting plan and timesharing orders Current child support or alimony orders Pending motions, petitions, and responses Any prior mediation agreements or court-approved settlements
Children and parenting
Proposed parenting plan and calendarSchool schedules, attendance records, and relevant school informationHealth insurance details and relevant medical expense recordsDaycare invoices and extracurricular activity costsRecords relevant to specific disputed parenting issues
Income and support
Recent pay stubs or proof of income for both partiesMost recent tax returns and supporting income informationFinancial affidavits and child support worksheets, if applicableProof of child support paid and payment historyReceipts and records for unpaid medical, daycare, or other child-related expenses
Alimony, property, and debt
Existing alimony order and payment historyMortgage statement, deed, and estimated home value, if applicableVehicle loan balances and other asset informationBank account, retirement account, and other relevant asset recordsCredit card statements, loan balances, and other debt records
Important: Financial disclosure requirements and any applicable mediation or court orders should be checked before mediation. A private agreement to waive disclosure does not automatically eliminate every legal disclosure requirement.
Florida's approved Parenting Plan form addresses the time-sharing schedule, parental responsibilities, health care, education, and parent-child communication. The plan should be detailed enough that both parents understand exactly what is expected.
Root+1
Discuss and reach agreement on each of the following:
Parenting Plan negotiation worksheet
Regular timesharing scheduleEqual timesharingAlternating weekends and weekday timeOne primary home with scheduled time for the other parentOther / to be negotiatedParental responsibilityShared parental responsibilityShared responsibility with specified decision-making authoritySole parental responsibility proposed for discussion
The final arrangement should address the child's best interests and the specific circumstances of the family.
School and educational decisions Medical and mental-health decisions Holidays, birthdays, and vacations Transportation and exchanges Parent-to-parent and parent-child communication Resolving disagreements Organize my proposed Parenting Plan terms
Avoid vague language such as “reasonable visitation” or “as agreed by the parties” when a specific schedule and procedure can be written instead.
The parties should work from accurate financial information and a proposed Florida Child Support Guidelines Worksheet rather than choosing an amount based only on what either parent believes is fair. Florida's family-law forms include the financial affidavit and child support worksheet.
Florida Courts+1
Discuss and record the following:
Issue
What to determine
Current child support
Proposed monthly amount and effective date
Income
Each parent's current gross income and allowable deductions
Timesharing
Number of overnights and related guideline calculations
Health insurance
Who carries the children and the cost attributable to them
Uncovered medical expenses
Each parent's percentage and reimbursement deadline
Daycare
Amount, necessity, payment method, and allocation
Past-due support
Amount owed, period covered, and payment history
Other child expenses
Agreed activities, school fees, and other extraordinary costs
Suggested negotiation terms
Do not assume that a private settlement automatically eliminates existing arrears or changes a current support order. Any proposed change should be written clearly and submitted for the appropriate court approval.
If the parties are already divorced, identify which existing orders they want to modify and which obligations they want to settle. If they are still divorcing, include all unresolved marital assets, debts, and support issues in the proposed settlement.
Prepare a written proposal for each item:
For each agreement, be specific about dates, amounts, payment methods, and what happens if a deadline is missed. If the parties agree to end or modify alimony, confirm that the proposed language accurately addresses the existing judgment and applicable law.
These questions can help both parties focus on practical solutions rather than past disagreements.
Questions about the children
A successful mediation does not require either party to agree to everything. It requires a willingness to consider reasonable options while protecting important interests.
If there are domestic violence concerns, intimidation, substance-use safety concerns, or an inability to negotiate freely, advise the mediator before the session and discuss appropriate safety arrangements. Neither party should be pressured into signing an agreement.
For this case, I would prepare a settlement agreement with the following sections.
Section 1 — Parties and case information
Court, county, case number, party names, date of mediation, and any existing judgment being addressed.
Section 2 — Parenting Plan
Parental responsibility, regular timesharing, holidays, transportation, school and medical decisions, communication, and dispute resolution.
Section 3 — Child support and expenses
Monthly support, effective date, payment method, arrears, insurance, uncovered medical expenses, and daycare.
Section 4 — Alimony and marital property
Existing and proposed alimony terms, home, vehicles, accounts, debts, payment deadlines, and transfer requirements, as applicable.
Section 5 — Implementation and signatures
Deadlines, required documents, treatment of existing orders, filing responsibilities, signatures, and any required court approval.
Important drafting point: When minor children are involved, prepare a separate, detailed Parenting Plan using the applicable Florida form, even if the broader mediation agreement summarizes the parenting terms. Florida provides approved forms for both parenting plans and marital settlement agreements.
Root+1
The agreement should also distinguish between terms the parties have fully agreed upon and issues that remain unresolved. Do not describe a partial settlement as a complete resolution.
To prepare a useful, case-specific Parenting Plan and Mediation Settlement Agreement, I need a few details. You can complete what you know and leave the rest blank.
Florida countyPasco CountyPinellas CountyHillsborough CountyAnother Florida countyCurrent case statusNew divorce or paternity caseExisting court order that the parties want to changeDivorce settlement not yet finalizedOther / unsureNumber and ages of childrenProposed timesharing arrangementEqual timesharingOne parent has majority timesharingA different scheduleNot yet decidedWhich financial issues need to be settled?Monthly child supportPast-due child supportMedical or daycare expensesAlimonyMarital home, property, or debtsAll financial issues are already resolved
Divorce Mediation Frequently Asked Questions
Going through a divorce or Seperation for none married couples can be emotionally taxing, extremely costly, and legally confusing. Choosing mediation can help . If you are looking to file for an alternative to litigation, our Mediation will create a space for you to find amicable resolution
Divorce Mediation Frequently Asked Questions
Going through a divorce or Seperation for none married couples can be emotionally taxing, extremely costly, and legally confusing. Choosing mediation can help . If you are looking to file for an alternative to litigation, our Mediation will create a space for you to find amicable resolutions with less conflict and legal costs.
Questions regarding mediation are normal; we have compiled some frequently asked questions and provided answers!
Divorce mediation is a popular process used by a couple in divorce to avoid a costly and lengthy divorce trial. With the assistance of a neutral third-party mediator, agreements are reached on all divorce issues: division of property and debts, spousal support, parenting issues including time-sharing, child custody, and child support. Since all agreements are made in mediation the parties can avoid the conflict and stress of litigation.
In mediation, spouses make their own voluntary decisions and personalize their divorce terms to meet both of their needs. The choice to settle the case and avoid court is always up to the spouses and which process will work best for them. Spouses tend to be more satisfied with the mediation process compared to litigation due to several advantages including the fact that spouses can discuss their interests in mediation and therefore have the opportunity to have their interests met.
Mediation can occur in person, over the phone, and through video conference. Depending on the circumstances, mediation meetings can happen with the mediator and both spouses together (often called “joint session”). Mediation can also involve the mediator meeting with each spouse privately (often called “private caucus”) to discuss the needs of each party and find a way to help the spouses come closer to common ground.
Unlike the public nature of the litigation process in court, in most states, “mediation confidentiality” is protected by law. This means that all communications in mediation and disclosure of documents are confidential.
How long does mediation typically take?
The average length of mediation usually involves at least one or Two - two-hour mediation sessions or more if needed . depending on the complexity . From start to finish most couples are Divorced within 3 or 4 Months . In addition to the timeliness of mediation, you will never have to feel as though you and your children’s futures are in the hands of someone other than you and your spouse.
When a child experiences a high-conflict divorce, it can leave lasting psychological and emotional harm. Although it may not be the parent’s intention, children often feel forced to choose sides. Parents may even actively try to alienate the child from the other parent without realizing the impact it can have on the child. As a parent, it is natural to want to fight to protect your relationship with your child but often it is the endless fighting that does the most harm.
Mediation reduces the likelihood of childhood trauma from divorce by reducing conflict, providing positive approaches to family communication, and demonstrating collaborative decision making. Parents are encouraged to consider mediation because of benefits including but not limited to:
Research has shown that in cases where mediation is utilized, there is greater potential for the development of optimal co-parenting relationships as well as ongoing parental cooperation. Research also shows that agreements reached through mediation are more likely to be adhered to by the parents. Parents’ ability to develop customized outcomes that meet their children’s unique needs and requirements during mediation are more likely to succeed in implementing the terms of the agreement.
Cost of mediation is $250 an hour with a two hour minimum and requires a $200 deposit to hold the time . There will also be a seperate fee for the notary to come and sign with you if you come to an agreement . All Mediations must be cancelled 7 days in advance to get a refund and 48 hours in advance to be reset without lossing your deposit ...
There are court fees paid to the court house for filing your case that have nothing to do with our fees however if you have low income you maybe able to get the court fees waived we can provide you with that information .
A mediator helps you talk with the party with whom you are having a dispute. The mediator does not make decisions for you. The mediator is a neutral and impartial person that will help you come up with possible solutions, stay on track, and clarify areas of agreement and disagreement. The mediator may help you and the other party see the conflict from each other side’s point of view.
Many kinds of people can be mediators: mental health or business professionals; attorneys; educators; and others. You do not need to be a certified mediator in the state of Florida to mediate . The mediators at helping Hands Mediation are no longer certified Mediators by the state of Florida but have been trained in Mediation .
Mediation must begin with an introduction by the mediator explaining the process and the role of the mediator. The mediator should explain that the parties make the decisions, not the mediator. The mediator’s introduction is usually followed by an opportunity for you and the other party to describe your concerns. If your lawyer is with you at mediation, these opening remarks may be made by you, your lawyer, or both of you. After these initial procedures, how the mediation is conducted varies. The mediator usually will meet with both parties together to discuss the issues to help you work out your differences. The mediator may also meet with each party privately. This separate meeting is called a caucus. Generally, unless you give the mediator permission to repeat what you say in caucus, the mediator is prohibited from sharing what is discussed.
If you are represented by a lawyer, you and your lawyer will decide how the two of you will interact during the mediation. Some lawyers instruct their clients not to talk during mediation. If this is your decision with your lawyer it is fine; however, it is important for you to know that you are allowed to speak to the mediator at any time.
Eventually, the mediation will end in one of three ways, either: 1) the parties reach an agreement as to some or all issues - all parties (and their lawyers if present) must sign the agreement; 2) the mediator declares an impasse (because you, the other party, or both are unwilling to continue discussing resolution); or 3) the mediator, with the parties’ consent, continues the mediation session by adjourning for the day. If the mediator declares an impasse as to some or all issues, then you and the other party will have to go back to court to have the judge or jury (if there is one) decide your case.
Before you attend a mediation, there are a few things you can do to help prepare yourself and to help make the mediation more beneficial to you.
Chinese Proverb
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DISCLAIMER: This site and any information contained herein are intended for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. Seek competent legal counsel for advice on any legal matter.We are Family Mediators and Document preparers. we do not give legal advice if you are in need of legal advice please contact a Florida Family Law attorney .
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