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Is Mediation for Everyone
How to pre-pair for Mediation
How to pre-pair for Mediation
What is an uncontested Divorce Mediation:
If both spouses agree that the marriage is to end and come to a mutually satisfying agreement regarding the final divorce settlement, you have an uncontested divorce.
In spite of what you hear from some, divorce isn’t always highly conflicted and anger filled.
It isn’t always about fighting it out
What is an uncontested Divorce Mediation:
If both spouses agree that the marriage is to end and come to a mutually satisfying agreement regarding the final divorce settlement, you have an uncontested divorce.
In spite of what you hear from some, divorce isn’t always highly conflicted and anger filled.
It isn’t always about fighting it out in front of a judge or, using the children as pawns to punish each other. There are couples who can work civilly together when this happens you have an “uncontested divorce.
Uncontested divorce is the way most people divorce. It’s simple and inexpensive, and it offers you and your spouse the chance to end your marriage quietly and with dignity. It’s not right for everybody, but it’s right for many more couples than gladiators like to admit. The most apparent advantage of uncontested divorce, of course, is its cost.
I’m a big believer in finding the least expensive way to divorce or Seperate . The simple fact is that any money you can avoid spending on people like me is money you can use to live on after divorce or seperation and also spend on your kids.
- From time to time, someone who doesn’t understand the process asks if I offer an introductory free consultation.
- The answer to this one is NO!
You get Consultations from a lawyer who you are looking to retian .Who is going to give you legal advice on what your rights are and tell you how to proceed with your case. - As a mediator, I have no interest in trying to sell the client on using my mediation services. I do not give legal advice or tell you how you should proceed. However, if you have questions about the process I will be glad to answer them over the phone.
- From time to time I am also asked if I will contact the other party to see if they would be willing to mediate, the answer to this is also no! If your comunication level with the other party is such that you can't even speak to them about mediation. Mediation is not the best answer for you and I suggest that you speak to a licensed Florida Attorney regarding your case and your options.
WHAT IS MEDIATION?
Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process whereby a neutral third person called a mediator acts to encourage and facilitate the resolution of a dispute between two or more parties. The role of the mediator includes, but is not limited to, assisting the parties in identifying issues, fostering joint problem solving, and exploring settlement alternatives. In Mediation, decision-making authority rests with the parties.
Mediation is an informal and non-adversarial process, with the objective of helping the disputing parties reach a mutually acceptable and voluntary agreement. The strength of mediation lies in its practical approach to the issues at hand.
In Florida, all litigated cases will be referred for mediation prior to a court date. Mediation has a success rate of up to 90%, which means most cases will not be heard in court.
Mediation gives all participants the opportunity to speak and be heard. We help you to identify the issues that need to be resolved, to generate and consider possible solution options, to reach a mutually agreeable solution and put the agreement into a written form in understandable language. There does not need to be a "winner" and a "loser" in a divorce as long as it is kept from becoming a legal battle.
WHAT MEDIATION IS NOT...
Mediation is not like going to court. You are in a relaxed atmosphere where the necessary issues that must be addressed regarding your divorce will be discussed in a respectful and adult manner.
While it is not always necessary to retain the services of an attorney, mediation is not intended to be a substitute for legal counsel. The mediator may not give legal advice and each party is encouraged to consult with an attorney if they have any legal questions or concerns.
A Mediator WILL NOT:
- Provide Legal Advice
- Provide Financial Advice
- Pass judgment on what is right or wrong
- Dispense decision-making authority regarding the issues of your case
Mediation can be used in any type of conflict or litigation:
Dissolution of Marriage
Modification of a Final Judgment concerning: Child Support, Time Sharing (Visitation), Primary Residence of a Child (where the child spends the majority of their time), or Spousal Support and/or Alimony.
How to pre-pair for Mediation
How to pre-pair for Mediation
How to pre-pair for Mediation
So, you have scheduled your first mediation session and from what I hear from my clients, I am sure you must be nervous. How will it go? How will the other party behave? What will they say or do? How to prepare and what to expect?
Well, first of all, breath. You have made a very good choice for your kids, as well as for yourself. You have
So, you have scheduled your first mediation session and from what I hear from my clients, I am sure you must be nervous. How will it go? How will the other party behave? What will they say or do? How to prepare and what to expect?
Well, first of all, breath. You have made a very good choice for your kids, as well as for yourself. You have made a financially sensibly, and family friendly choice. I command it. Now, let's prepare, to make sure that you are doing everything possible on your end, to assist the process and contribute to its success. Here are some practical tips for preparing to your first mediation session:
1. Come with Organized Financial Documents:
This should include the following: a list of all the assets you have: bank account, mutual funds, brokerage accounts, retirement funds, real estate, vehicles, time shares, businesses, important household contents, annuities, stock, equity in companies, pending law suits. You need to have balances of all bank accounts and retirement funds. For your debts, you will need the balance and monthly payment on your mortgage and home equity loan, all credit cards balances, all loan balances including student loans, private loans, loans against retirement funds and car loans. If you have any loans within the circle of your family members or friends (you borrowed or lent money to someone, including parents, siblings, friends etc.) make sure that you have concrete information on that as well. You may or may not need to bring original documents (please check with your mediator about that), but make sure that you are super organized. Typically, a spreadsheet or an organized list will do wonders in sparing both of you time and money in mediation. You can work on the list together or separately, depending on your relationship. Both options are fine. You will need to complete a financial depending on your income.
Short Form Financial under 50,000 a year
Long Form Finacial over 50,000 a year
Sample Parenting plan to give you ideas
PS. If you don't have all the Different assets or liabilites listed above than you don't have to worry about bringing the information. But you will each need to complete one of the forms above .
2. Get Your Emotions Under Control:
Mediation is, for the most part, a negotiation process, and heated emotions, as understandable as they are, will not allow you to have the clear head you need. This is not the time for hurtful words or getting at the other party, and it is not good for the process or for any of you. Find a great therapist, which will be so much more productive in handling this process in the best possible way. Join a support group. Be kind to yourself. Get support from your family and friends. But come to mediation as composed as you can be. It will work for you, believe me.
3. Be Prepared to Negotiate, Not to Argue:
The past is the past. It cannot be changed. This, however, is a forward looking, proactive process. You will find this refreshing, and very helpful. Arguing is something that you have done before, and it does not work. Negotiating, however, works and works well. So the first question to ask yourself is: What do I want? Think about that. Then, together with your mediator, you can think about how to accomplish what you are looking for, within reason and within the scope of what is possible.
4. You Can Ask to Talk to Your Mediator Alone:
If you have specific concerns, go ahead and express them. You can ask for a few minutes individually with your mediator every now and then is is called caucusing , and none of what you discuss with the mediator will be transferred or reported to the other party. A few minutes of private discussion with your mediator every now and then, can help the process tremendously. Your mediator will spend similar time with the other party. Be respectful and stay away. Session will then resume with both of you, it is a normal part of mediation.
5. Plan a Budget:
It will be easier to negotiate if you know how much money you need (monthly or as a lump some) in order to achieve what you are looking for, or how much you can afford to pay. Be realistic. Base your budget on fair and concrete expenses, and bring it to mediation with you. Your budget form should include housing and household expenses, car expenses, kids activities and expenses, health insurance, co pays, deductibles, and miscellaneous (detailed and specified) expenses.
6. Learn Your Rights and Obligations:
Get a Consultation from a Attorney . Go to more than one consultation with an attorney before you go to mediation . Gather information. Read articles. Do not go into the process of divorce before you know the terms, the meanings, the implications. Educate yourself. Read books. Many Attorney's offer free consultations. Go to a few, together or separately, and ask a lot of questions. It will give you a clearer picture of what your options are, and what each option means for you.
7. Put Your Concerns on the Table (or in Writing):
Your concerns are important to the process. Put them on the table so that they can be discussed. Some people are concerned about travel with the kids, some have a family member they are concerned about, others are concerned about not being notified before the kids when a significant other is introduced to them. Everything is relevant, and should be brought up. Use this proactive process to assist you in setting the grounds for productive co-parenting and peace of mind.
Good luck!
Frequent Questions
How to pre-pair for Mediation
Frequent Questions
Divorce Mediation Frequently Asked Questions
Going through a divorce or Seperation for none married couples can be emotionally taxing, extremely costly, and legally confusing. Choosing mediation can help . If you are looking to file for an alternative to litigation, our Mediation will create a space for you to find amicable resolution
Divorce Mediation Frequently Asked Questions
Going through a divorce or Seperation for none married couples can be emotionally taxing, extremely costly, and legally confusing. Choosing mediation can help . If you are looking to file for an alternative to litigation, our Mediation will create a space for you to find amicable resolutions with less conflict and legal costs.
Questions regarding mediation are normal; we have compiled some frequently asked questions and provided answers!
What is divorce mediation?
Divorce mediation is a popular process used by a couple in divorce to avoid a costly and lengthy divorce trial. With the assistance of a neutral third-party mediator, agreements are reached on all divorce issues: division of property and debts, spousal support, parenting issues including time-sharing, child custody, and child support. Since all agreements are made in mediation the parties can avoid the conflict and stress of litigation.
In mediation, spouses make their own voluntary decisions and personalize their divorce terms to meet both of their needs. The choice to settle the case and avoid court is always up to the spouses and which process will work best for them. Spouses tend to be more satisfied with the mediation process compared to litigation due to several advantages including the fact that spouses can discuss their interests in mediation and therefore have the opportunity to have their interests met.
Mediation can occur in person, over the phone, and through video conference. Depending on the circumstances, mediation meetings can happen with the mediator and both spouses together (often called “joint session”). Mediation can also involve the mediator meeting with each spouse privately (often called “private caucus”) to discuss the needs of each party and find a way to help the spouses come closer to common ground.
Unlike the public nature of the litigation process in court, in most states, “mediation confidentiality” is protected by law. This means that all communications in mediation and disclosure of documents are confidential.
How long does divorce mediation typically take?
How long does mediation typically take?
The average length of mediation usually involves at least one or Two - two-hour mediation sessions or more if needed . depending on the complexity . From start to finish most couples are Divorced within 3 or 4 Months . In addition to the timeliness of mediation, you will never have to feel as though you and your children’s futures are in the hands of someone other than you and your spouse.
What are the biggest benefits of divorce mediation for children?
When a child experiences a high-conflict divorce, it can leave lasting psychological and emotional harm. Although it may not be the parent’s intention, children often feel forced to choose sides. Parents may even actively try to alienate the child from the other parent without realizing the impact it can have on the child. As a parent, it is natural to want to fight to protect your relationship with your child but often it is the endless fighting that does the most harm.
Mediation reduces the likelihood of childhood trauma from divorce by reducing conflict, providing positive approaches to family communication, and demonstrating collaborative decision making. Parents are encouraged to consider mediation because of benefits including but not limited to:
- Reducing stress for the child. Children will endure significantly less psychological and emotional stress when not having to choose sides or witnessing parents fight.
- Ensuring positive relationships between parents. In mediation, parents are allowed to create a parenting plan that works for everyone involved, particularly the child.
- Laying the foundation for long-term parental collaboration. Filing for divorce does not mean that parents should no longer work together to raise the child. Mediation lays the groundwork for parents to work together long after the divorce is finalized.
- Preserving money for the child. A drawn-out battle can be expensive and time-consuming. Money is better preserved when put towards directly caring for the child.
- Allowing you to spend more time with your child. The time spent in the courtroom during a divorce trial can be better spent with your child. Mediation is often a time-saver.
Research has shown that in cases where mediation is utilized, there is greater potential for the development of optimal co-parenting relationships as well as ongoing parental cooperation. Research also shows that agreements reached through mediation are more likely to be adhered to by the parents. Parents’ ability to develop customized outcomes that meet their children’s unique needs and requirements during mediation are more likely to succeed in implementing the terms of the agreement.
Cost of mediation is $200 an hour with a two hour minimum and requires a $100 deposit to hold the time . There will also be a seperate fee for the notary to come and sign with you if you come to an agreement .
There are court fees paid to the court house for filing your case that have nothing to do with our fees however if you have low income you maybe able to get the court fees waived we can provide you with that information .
What is a mediator?
A mediator helps you talk with the party with whom you are having a dispute. The mediator does not make decisions for you. The mediator is a neutral and impartial person that will help you come up with possible solutions, stay on track, and clarify areas of agreement and disagreement. The mediator may help you and the other party see the conflict from each other side’s point of view.
Many kinds of people can be mediators: mental health or business professionals; attorneys; educators; and others. You do not need to be a certified mediator in the state of Florida to mediate . The mediators at helping Hands Mediation are no longer certified Mediators by the state of Florida but have been trained in Mediation .
What happens in mediation?
Mediation must begin with an introduction by the mediator explaining the process and the role of the mediator. The mediator should explain that the parties make the decisions, not the mediator. The mediator’s introduction is usually followed by an opportunity for you and the other party to describe your concerns. If your lawyer is with you at mediation, these opening remarks may be made by you, your lawyer, or both of you. After these initial procedures, how the mediation is conducted varies. The mediator usually will meet with both parties together to discuss the issues to help you work out your differences. The mediator may also meet with each party privately. This separate meeting is called a caucus. Generally, unless you give the mediator permission to repeat what you say in caucus, the mediator is prohibited from sharing what is discussed.
If you are represented by a lawyer, you and your lawyer will decide how the two of you will interact during the mediation. Some lawyers instruct their clients not to talk during mediation. If this is your decision with your lawyer it is fine; however, it is important for you to know that you are allowed to speak to the mediator at any time.
Eventually, the mediation will end in one of three ways, either: 1) the parties reach an agreement as to some or all issues - all parties (and their lawyers if present) must sign the agreement; 2) the mediator declares an impasse (because you, the other party, or both are unwilling to continue discussing resolution); or 3) the mediator, with the parties’ consent, continues the mediation session by adjourning for the day. If the mediator declares an impasse as to some or all issues, then you and the other party will have to go back to court to have the judge or jury (if there is one) decide your case.
Tips on How to Prepare for a Mediation
Before you attend a mediation, there are a few things you can do to help prepare yourself and to help make the mediation more beneficial to you.
- Get legal advice:Because a mediator cannot give any legal advice to any parties, if you are not currently represented by an attorney but you have legal questions about your case (including what your case may be worth or what to accept as a “good” settlement), you should contact an attorney before the mediation, so you may make an informed decision about settling your case. If you cannot afford one, Legal Aid or The Florida Bar may have a program to assist you.
- Get organized:Go over all of the information that you have and organize it. It may be helpful to list events in the order in which they occurred. Gather any documents about your issue and put them in a folder to bring with you to the mediation. If you have an attorney, talk to your attorney about your case and mediation. Your attorney may be able to provide you with even more information on what to do during the mediation
- Come prepared:Arrive at the mediation on time. Be prepared to talk to the other party in the dispute. Even if you have had problems talking to the other party on your own, the mediator is there to help with communication. Be aware of the security regulations in the building where your mediation is to take place.
- Understand the dispute:Get the issues straight in your head. If it helps, write the issues down. Think about which issues are the most important to you as well as which issues are least important. In addition, think about what may be most and least important to the other person or party.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
- There can I get more information?More information is available on this website. If you choose to get more information about mediation from the internet, please be advised that other states have different rules and only the Florida rules apply to mediation when you are mediating in Florida courts.
- Do I have to have an attorney at mediation?You do not have to have an attorney at mediation. However, it may be helpful to consult an attorney prior to going to mediation or to have an attorney with you
- My friend/relative is a mediator; may he/she mediate my case?Whether someone may mediate for you depends on the connection that person has to either the case or the people involved in the mediation. Because a mediator must be both neutral and impartial, the mediator should not have any close connection to anyone in the dispute or anyone participating in the mediation. If the mediator does have such a close personal or business connection, (examples: parent, employee, landlord) the mediator may not mediate that dispute. If the connection is not close, then the mediator must disclose the connection. If you recognize any connection or relationship to the mediator, you must disclose the connection as soon as you are aware of the connection. Once the connection is disclosed, if all parties agree, the mediator may serve.
- May I bring a friend or relative with me to mediation?Non-parties (examples are: friends, relatives, advisers.) may attend the mediation ONLY if all parties agree. If all parties do not agree, non-parties may not attend the mediation. Therefore, it is best to ask the mediator about bringing someone with you before you go to the mediation. Anyone who attends a mediation is bound by confidentiality.
- What if we reach agreement at mediation? At mediation you can resolve all of your issues, some of your issues, or none of your issues. If a full or partial agreement is reached, all resolved issues must be written down and all parties in the dispute and their attorneys (if appearing at the mediation) must sign. If, there is only a partial agreement that means there are still issues to be resolved by the court. Those issues will be addressed in a trial unless they are settled after the mediation but before the trial begins.
- What if we can’t agree on anything at mediation?If you do not reach an agreement at your court-ordered mediation, the mediator must report to the court the fact that no agreement was reached. The confidentiality rules still apply.
Contact Us
Get in touch!
Feel free to reach out with any questions or inquiries you might have. The doors to our community are open to you, and we look forward to welcoming you soon.
Helping Hands Document and Mediation Services
8282 Sycamore Drive, New Port Richey, Florida 34654, United States
Open today | 09:00 am – 05:00 pm |
